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Campaign Brief (AUS/NZ) Online.
Campaign Brief Magazine : November December 2008
T VC PRODU CT IO N Truthin advertising: By Simon Shattky “WHO THE FUCK IS THAT?” spluttered Martyn Turner, nearly dropping his cigarette into a p ile of JCR’s on his desktop. I was in Martyn’s office one day - t rying to explain some mix up with ex penses that the accoun ts department had co ttoned onto - and right p ast his door, large r than lif e, s wagge rs t his hu ge leather-clad biker, a ccompanied by t his equall y lea ther -clad, Amaz oni an natura l per ox ide blonde warrior princess. It’s winter of 1983 and Martyn is running th e Wellington offi ce of O&M. Martyn is a gentleman. He’s o ld school. In fact, h e’s so old sch ool, t here w asn’t a n ew school at the time. He was a lso incredibly easy to wind up which was just an added bonus of working there. “Oh t hat’s just Rog.” I r eply. “Roger Tompki ns. He’s t his director and Kate is his producer; they’ll be here for the 4th 1/3 of the budget” “We’re giving him money !?” “Yup, h e’s sho oting the next Just Juice ads for us in London.” Martyn i s apoplectic: “Are you barking fuc king mad, or are you on drugs?” Since it was advertis- ing in the 1980’s, it’s fairly safe to assume I was on drugs a t th at pa rticu lar mom ent but t hat seemed to be beside the point. “Wh at ’s t he problem ?” I enquired The re al problem, is that t here isn’t a problem, so like any good suit, Martyn creates one which he can then solve and claim victory. “Look a t him, he doesn’t even dress l ike a director,” he finally spluttered. I just shrug, not knowing what a director was meant to dress like. “Well , tell him to get a tie .” Problem solved. “Hello dear boy, what did Martyn want?” as ks Rog jo vially when Hughesie - the suit on the job - and I meet him at the l ifts on our way for a quick bite. “He said we should eat Thai.” A l ittle later, ar ound 4.3 0 ge t- ting dangero us ly cl ose to th e business end of lunch; Hughesie proclaims that since we were talk- ing about wor k, the l unch had accidentally morphed into a pre- production meeting; an d th ere- fore the need to have the act ual pre -prod uct ion mee ting had miraculously evaporated. This s eeme d like t he pe rfe ct opportunity to give the acc ount director some good news. “So , um, there’ s no pro duct shot, no logo, and no voice over, and Rog er’s thinking of do ing this commercial in one shot,” I re cal l proudly ann ouncin g to Hughesie over a port. “Yes,” agreed Roger, l ooking up from the cheese board and adding helpfully: “and one take.” Ten days later, Roger and I are in some dodgy east end pub with one of Rog’s mates, ‘John’, who Roger informs me is ‘the driver’. John drives a Mk2 J ag. It’ s li ke be ing i n an episode o f T he Sweeney. “The thing is old bea n, s ome- thing’s come up,” Roger informs me. Really? “See, a mate of a mate of John’s has run into a … er … sort of a spot of bother. So we’re just pop- ping up country for a few days to get it sorted,” adding, almo st a s an afterthought, “but I’ll be back before the shoot.” That ’d be fucking han dy I think, but who am I t o st and in the way of a mate in need. “Really, what sort of bother?” I ask “Er, nothing, really…. Unpaid school fees.” Mmm probably best not to alert anyone back home. No ne ed to scare the horses a t th is sta ge o f the adventure. “All sorted?” I remember asking Roger on his return. “Well, ” b egins Rog, “it w as, until I woke up from a kip in the motor, to find John had s topped in the middle of th e M1. I as k what the fuck have you stop ped for, and he mumbles ‘ red li ght’ and points to a red light, which as it turns out is actually a signal on the r ailway line running next to the M1. So, yeah, a part from that, all sorted.” I’ve known Roger since we were both 12……stone. Whi ch obvi ously was qu it e some time ago for us both. The thing about Roger is that he’s neve r short of a g ood y arn. I remember an old work colleague recalling this little ge m, fro m Roger’s days when he worked as the office junior in the Qua ntity Surveyors office Rog er was r unning slig ht ly behind schedule and h ad saun - tered into the lobby a t a round 9.30 on his way into the office. To be fair, he was always out the door promptly at 4.30, afte r hav- ing put in a decent six hour day – this old habit, I figured must be one of the reasons why he never goes into overtime on shoots Unfortunately, on thi s particu- lar morning, as th e l if t d oors ope ned, Rog er was su ddenly standing eyeball to e yeball with the company accountant. “Ahh, lat e ag ain,” d ryl y remarked the accountant. “Yes I know,” retorts the young Roger. “Me too.” I’ve always thought that since Roger can tell a good yarn he can probably tell one well on screen. And so he does. As I write this, Roger is prep- ping a new series of spots for me. I’m usin g th at as an excuse to buy another deadline extension. Unfortunately the game is up. The spots will be funny. That’s wha t the client has a sked for. That’s what Roger will insist on. Now, if only we can find a decent writer. Simon Shattky is the creati ve director of MintFCB in Auckland. One day in 1980, he stumbled off the E ndeavour ra ilcar h aving arrived in Wellington from Napier. Carrying nothing but a cut l unch and a bright orange flight suitcase, he s tumble d i nt o Col enso Wel lington, where, after having mistaken h im for a Bon Brush salesman, he was hired on the spot. Tompkins is one of our industry’s few remaining grea t storytellers . Trai ned a clas sical pianis t and recently ret ired from the mas ter snowboarding cir cuit, he hates let- ting the truth getting in the way of a good st ory. So now C ranb roo k proudly presents a new r eel full of humour and pathos (and some great spots): ‘The Old Crusty Demon’ is RT’s 2008 reel. Download direct to your record player from www.cran- brook.com or contact Julie@cran- brook.com and we wi ll post you an eco friendly DVD…. 08: Mastercard (McCann-Erickson, Sydney) 08: Special K (JWT Sydney) 07: DFAT (KWP! Adelaide) 08: Foodbank (JWT Sydney) 08: Mastercard (McCann-Erickson, Sydney) 48 CAMP AI GN B RIEF 07: Nissan (Whybin\TBWA, Sydney) 08: Listerine (JWT, New York) 08: Noel Leeming (Mint/DraftFCB Auckland) NOV E MBER/DE CE MB ER 2008
Awards Dec 2008
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